Monday, November 26, 2007

Growing Pains

Thanksgiving at our house was good and everyone had a nice time. We will put some pics up soon. But, that's not what I want to write about today.

We are tired. I was so looking forward to a 4-day weekend, especially after working in a hospital for the past 5 years where I did not have the day after Thanksgiving off. But, this past weekend, was a LONG one and I found myself looking forward to going back to work. And then feeling guilty about that. I love the babies, obviously, but I am so exhausted and it is so hard to have very little time for myself. Penny and I talked it over and she is feeling the same way. However, I "get" to get away to work, so we are feeling it in a different way. Not more or less, just different, and I will let her make a post about how she is feeling if she wants to.

It is fall and we have a craft room. And I want to be crafty. But, there is no time for craftiness and I am feeling crappy about that. I was so psyched to move into this big house and have space for laying out scrapbook pages to work on and maybe even learning some new crafty things. But it's not happening! When we are home with the babies, it is a neverending cycle of feeding, playing, changing, trying to get them to sleep, repeat, repeat, repeat. I know, I know. What did I expect? We have twins and they are busy little 6 month olds. But even when there are a few moments, I find that I am hesitant to start anything because there is never a significant enough chunk of time to start anything. And so I am watching too much TV or spending too much time on the internet and I am hating it. Well, hating it might be too strong. I strongly regret the time I lose to TV and the internet.

Penny and I are trying to do Weight*Watchers and we have done relatively well so far by making better food choices. We have both lost about 11 pounds. Yay us! But, we are not exercising and that sucks, too. I want to, but again, I cannot find the time. I cannot fathom getting up one second earlier than I have to, as I already feel so sleep deprived. And then when the kids go to bed for the night, we are so tired, that we usually make and eat dinner, and then veg out in front of the TV. I want to use this time efficiently, but I just feel too worn out to use that time to exercise, scrapbook, or anything else.

Does anyone out there have any thoughts, encouragement, or words of wisdom? We started this blog as a way to keep people informed and in the loop about the babies and our move, but I have felt rather "Pollyanna" lately with mostly all hearts and rainbow posts, when, in reality, I am struggling with some things. Do other bloggers struggle with how much to complain and how much to sugar-coat things for people who are reading?

And speaking of struggling, remember when I mentioned Jordan's coughing and wheezing the other day? Well, we took him to the doc's office and they said he has cold induced asthma! *SIGH* So, they sent us home with a nebulizer and meds and now we have to give him breathing treatments every 4 hours when he is awake. As you can imagine, our 6 month old boy does not like sitting still for ten minutes with a mask held over his face, blowing mist his way. Good times, good times.


Jude said...

I feel the same way. By the time Punk's bedtime rolls around, and I wrangle her into bed, I am D-O-N-E. I would like to think I would be doing actual things, but the reality is that the internet and the television (and of course the neverending chores) are all I have energy for before it's "time" to go to bed.

Anonymous said...

Oh Honey, you are not alone! I can relate in so many ways. It does get easier as they get holder so hold onto that thought. Parker has 'cold induced asthma' as well, he's been on the neb for almost 18 months. he's had a wheezy cough for nearly three weeks (Hannah too). It's scary and stressful but there's something to be said for modern meds. As far as sugar coating on the blog, it's a personal choice, when my blog gets up and running, I don't think I'll be sugar coating too much. this is life, if people don't like what is written, they don't have to read it!
I feel so compelled to call you, writing online isn't doing justice for me! Maybe I'll try to call you tonight. when do the kiddos typically go down? Oh and tell Penny I can relate to her too. I was resentful to Micheal often because he got to "leave" for work and I was still at home, sleep deprived and running on auto pilot. It really does get easier as they get older. Sure we're faced with new challenges now but my kids are more independent and that does allow me to start projects. I am like you chris, resistant to start projects since I have no idea when they'll get finished. Must be a type A personality thing!

Hang in there, I'll call you soon!

e. said...

i'm not there...yet...but i just wanted to send you some love. it has to get easier, right?

Harp's Mom said...

Oh, girl, the whole time I was reading your post I was saying to myself, "Yes! Yes!", because I could totally relate. For me, this hit the nail right on the head: "I find that I am hesitant to start anything because there is never a significant enough chunk of time to start anything." So true! Right here and now, I want to acknowledge a new syndrome: Parenthood-Related ADD. I feel like because I have to shove all my to-dos into a few hours a day (if I am lucky to get even that much time), I am always jumping from one thing to the next. I always have a ton of balls in the air, a million works-in-progress. And of course, things I *want* to do are most often back-burnered (if I may also invent a word here) in favor of family and household to-dos, which just keep on coming. Sorry I have no solutions to offer, just commiseration.

I think (hope?) it will get easier once I can let my wild thing play unattended a little more. Like, when he's 25.

Leigh said...

If it makes you feel any better, I had the same type of asthma as a kid, along with a bunch of other allergies, and outgrew them ALL. So hopefullythis will happen to your baby as well!