Piling up

We are having struggles in the world of sleep. And maybe if you look at each kid individually, it is not that bad. But consider the two together, and it seems like our sleep is really really shitty right now. The kids are 9.5 months old. Could it be a growth spurt? We went through some really good weeks of sleep and we rejoiced that we had survived the worst of sleep stuff. And then the gods laughed at us, and the bad sleep started again. WHY WHY WHY? One of the worst things we are experiencing right now is that Jordan can be exhausted and his eyes are barely open to slits. But when you try to hold him and rock him and soothe him, he pushes against you with amazing force, trying to get away. And if you the put him in the crib, he wails and wails. The pushing away is annoying because it can be painful, it can be tough to hold on to him and not drop him (he is almost 21 lbs now!), and, in a way, it feels like a rejection from him. This may seem weird to say, but it really does feel personally insulting. Like, hey dude, I am trying to rock you and this mommy and me time should be so nice and all you want to do is get the hell away from me.

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Every Thursday I am home with the kids because I now work 4 ten hour days to make up my full time work schedule. In theory, it is nice to have an extra day with the kids and it saves on day care costs. My current struggle is that Thursdays tend to be pretty difficult. I want to cherish these days with the kids, but I find myself more enduring them and wishing them away than anything else. I am constantly looking at the clock and counting the hours until Penny gets home. I hope that, as the kids get older and as the weather gets better, I will be able to get out with them more and enjoy them. Being home for a whole day with the kids alone is tough because it is a neverending litany of feeding, changing, holding, playing, trying to get down for naps (them, not me!), and shuttling them up and down the stairs. Exhausted does not even begin to cover it.

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Both kids have colds and are terribly snotty. Any guesses as to how much they each like to have their noses suctioned out with the nasal aspirator? Also, Taylor has another ear infection, so she is now on antibiotics. Taylor had a rough weekend last week due to fevers of up to 103 degrees, which resulted in a doc's appointment on Sunday...no fever at time of appointment and no ear infection, then being sent home from daycare on Tuesday with a fever os 102.6, another doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and a subsequent diagnosis of an ear infection and the beginning of antibiotics. Good times.

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Yesterday we had another big snowstorm. They predicted 16 inches and I thought about slitting my wrists. In the end, we only got about 8 inches, so that was much nicer. But, Jee-zus! Is this winter over yet? Everyone tells us, "Ya picked a hell of a winter to come back to New England!" Thanks. Very helpful!

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The house we are living in has been sold. This is the 3rd rental house that has been sold out from under us while we were living in it. We may stay here until the end of our lease in August, or we may move early if we can find a suitable arrangement. The sellers have been clear that we are welcome to stay until the end of out lease, which has been nice. But, the buyers are quite vested is us leaving early. We may actually switch houses with them, as they are renting a nice house nearby. We are going to look at it on Sunday. We are asking the buyers to pay for a packer/mover for us, if they really want us to move out early, due to our time constraints with two babies and the fact that we just went through a cross country move 6 months ago. We have proposed the idea to them and they are going to let us know.

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For some reason, my left eye will not stop twitching and watering. Stress and sleep deprivation anyone? In good news, however, is that day care was closed yesterday due to snow and Penny stayed home with the kids becuase I had to go to a staff retreat. The kids were able to go to daycare today instead, and I do not work on Thursdays, so guess who is home all alone, with an entire day all to herself to lay around and eat grapes and bon bons? You guessed it...yours truly. There are SO many things I want to do with my time, so I better run! Penny and I are meeting for lunch later today.